How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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