hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
