I wish i was in the wii world.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
