Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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