I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
