It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
