i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
