I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just pee around me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
