I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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