I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
