I am spending my child support on dildos
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
