their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
This house was built for laser tag.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
