the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
