how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
we're so committed to being not committed
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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