I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
