I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
