I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
