My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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