You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
