Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I accidentally had phone sex last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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