Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
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After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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