Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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