she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
