You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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