Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
