You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
