did you get engaged???
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
