You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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