the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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