And the cops told us we were all naked.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
