it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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