I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
