Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
