the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
