Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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