Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Rumble strips road head = magical
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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