the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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