Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER