I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize