Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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