Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize