there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
