it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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