I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
