If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
