Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
PANTIES FOUND
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
