Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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