nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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