bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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