you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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