Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
why is half of my head shaved?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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