I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"