Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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