hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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