There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
