Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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