Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
