OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
