And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
